MAGA Rep. Gives Bonkers ‘Poetry’ Defense of Creepy Behavior

A MAGA congressman pleaded for mercy from his colleagues over his poetic displays of affection toward two young female staffers.

Read more Trump Bails on 9/11 Ceremony for Trumpiest of Reasons

North Carolina Rep. Chuck Edwards penned a 22-page defense of his behavior after the House Ethics Committee determined there was “substantial evidence” to believe that he had sexually harassed two female staffers, according to NOTUS.

Both women and other current and former staffers testified that Edwards gave the two women preferential treatment.

The allegations prompted the Republican congressman to abandon his re-election campaign a few days later, as the panel recommended censuring him after the investigation.

Before the full House has a chance to vote on his punishment, Edwards fired off a preemptive plea for help from his fellow lawmakers.

“Before voting for my censure I am asking you to do something both simple and important,” Edwards wrote in the , obtained by NOTUS. “Look beyond the conclusion of the Ethics Committee’s report against me then examine the evidence and the extraordinary analytical leap required to reach that conclusion.”

“An affectionate friendship is not a sexual proposition,” he continued. “A gift is not sexual misconduct. A compliment is not sexual misconduct. Poetry is not sexual misconduct.”

“Caring deeply about someone with whom you have worked and come to know for years is not sexual misconduct,” he added. “Yet individual acts that were not themselves prohibited were gathered together, assigned the most damaging possible interpretation, and then used collectively to support a conclusion far more serious than the underlying evidence.”

Edwards went on to explain that no rules prohibited House members from “being friends” with their staff, and that the gift-giving was not one-sided. He described receiving a custom NFL jersey, whiskey glasses, a taxidermied animal, and custom throw blankets from his staffers, among other gifts.

Read more Trump’s Chopper Scare Takes an Embarrassing New Turn

He also said that one of the women referred to him frequently as her “second dad,” which he said changes the context of the behavior he was investigated for.

“Possibility is not proof. Inference is not evidence. And selective context is not totality,” Edwards concluded in bold. “A finding this serious should rest on evidence equally serious. This one does not.”

The MAGA rep also included a list of 15 questions for his colleagues to ponder, which included inquiries about why the report “minimized the father/daughter and mentor/mentee context” and whether the committee “interpreted” rather than “proved” its conclusion.

A separate appendix was included with the letter, which featured Edwards’ responses to the committee’s report in its entirety.

Edwards’ office did not immediately return the Beast’s request for comment.

The two women, identified as Staffer 1 and Staffer 2 in the report, were 19 and in their early 20s, respectively, when they began working for Edwards.

The congressman allegedly gave them Broadway tickets, thousands of dollars’ worth of jewelry, and trips to New York City, among other things.

He also wrote the women mushy personal letters expressing his appreciation. In one letter, he referred to one of them as “the most amazing woman.”