Trump’s Suck-Up Pal Melts Down in 15-Page Social Media Rant

President Donald Trump’s bootlicker-in-chief has posted a deluded meltdown online, furiously ranting at World Cup critics.

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In a move straight out of Trump’s playbook, FIFA President Gianni Infantino ranted and raved over 15 pages in an Instagram post on his personal account. The lengthy statement, which included eight variations of the word “hate” and 15 petty accusations, was also posted to the FIFA website.

“Sorry that you were so consumed by hate and criticism that you missed it all,” he opened his statement, directing his ire towards unnamed critics.

He then moaned about “those behind their pens and papers, behind their screens spreading hate and false rumours.”

“I want to say that while you are sitting behind, we at FIFA are on the front lines organizing, working hard and delivering the best show in the world,” the 56-year-old added. “While you divide, we unite.”

The Swiss-born soccer administrator, who earns $6 million a year as FIFA president, then made a questionable claim, writing: “We experienced no violence, no incidents, 100% safety and security, only joy and happiness!”

The “only joy and happiness” remark rings the most hollow as there was tumult before the tournament even started, with Iran threatening to pull out completely because of the Trump administration denying visas to its fans and staff. Iran was one of four countries whose fans were totally banned, alongside Haiti, Senegal and Ivory Coast. Somali referee Omar Abdulkadir Artan was denied entry, too.

There was violence on the field, too, as the final descended into madness after Argentine player Leandro Paredes appeared to hit Spanish midfielder Rodri as he celebrated his country’s win. There were skirmishes on the streets of Buenos Aires, too, after the game—with reports of police officers being assaulted.

He specifically honed in on the visa saga. “You mentioned the few people denied visas and overlooked the millions who were approved, from all parts of the world. Because football unites the world, and it was demonstrated impressively this summer,” he declared.

Elsewhere in his social media rant, the FIFA boss spuriously claimed that “Iran entered the United States without incident or conflict.” However, just four of the fifteen Iranian team staff members who were originally denied visas were later granted them.

He said that “we worked tirelessly to unite two countries at war.” The U.S. has been bombing Iran for two weeks straight after a brief ceasefire fell apart.

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He invoked Trump again as he ranted about ratings and boasted about celebrities attending the tournament. “Virtually all global celebrities from music, movies, entertainment, and sports attended, enjoying the event, spending time with fans and us. They were joyful and happy,” he said.

He added an accusation. “Every city was packed with fans from all around the globe. While they celebrated, you were busy planting seeds of hate,” Infantino said.

He then appeared to reference the biggest controversy of the whole tournament, FIFA’s decision to suspend a red card that would have seen the USMNT’s star striker miss a crucial knockout game. Florian Balogun was sent off against Bosnia for a bad tackle on an opponent. He was set to miss the next round against Belgium as a result. That’s until Trump stepped in and called Infantino. FIFA suspended the card, allowing Balogun to play against Belgium. Team USA were well beaten anyway, but critics cried foul about Trump’s intervention.

“Indeed, ‘arguable’ referees’ decisions or ‘strange’ disciplinary rulings such as for instance potentially mistaken red or yellow cards or subsequent decisions not to ban players in certain situations are routine and widely accepted in some of the biggest leagues worldwide,” was Infantino’s feeble response.

“It’s curious that the same countries employing these practices are the ones criticising.”

He then claimed that the tournament, whose ticket prices reached $2.3 million on FIFA’s official resale site, “celebrated humanity at its best.”

Urging critics to “find peace,” Infantino blasted, “To those spending their time and energy hating us, please take a moment to reflect, meditate, pray, or watch a football match and truly observe the faces, the eyes, the emotions.”

Infantino’s tireless campaign to charm Trump appears to have worked, with sources telling the New York Post that Trump thinks he should be elected the next U.N. secretary-general.

Infantino has made his fondness for Trump known throughout the president’s second term. Aside from presenting Trump with FIFA’s sham “Peace Prize,” the Swiss soccer boss has appeared in the Oval Office several times and attended the president’s Board of Peace meetings.